But not all of these are for me...

Middle of the day and I walk outside during lunch. Carl is sitting there with 12 chocolate donuts.

"Wow, those donuts look good!" I say to Carl. He glances up at me in between bites. Carl was just off-campus for lunch. I see no other food, snacks, litter, or empty cartons suggesting any variety. Just donuts.

"Hey, um, quick question for you, did you have anything for lunch other than donuts?" I ask. Carl explains, "Well, you see, I wasn't hungry for lunch, so I didn't eat any lunch, but I was hungry for dessert so I got dessert."

"Oh, so you're having dessert." I mention, wondering how soon into pm classes he will crash after a sugar high. "But not all these are for me." He says, "They're for my friends."

"Oh, got it. Sounds good." No need for me to lecture him on diet, sugar, healthy choices, portions...he's heard that from parents, the lunch lady, paraprofessionals, and likely the school nurse.

Afternoon classes begin and thirty minutes in, I see Carl in the hallway, sitting on a chair, his arms folded across his belly. A paraprofessional sits next to him.

I check on him again a few minutes later, and he's gone. "In the bathroom" the para mentions to me. Twelve donuts with no milk or water... The para says she was surprised he'd eaten them all.

The next day I approach Carl before lunch. I ease into the conversation asking him how his day is going and how his family is doing. I gently segue into asking him about his plans for lunch if he's going to eat on campus or not. He mentions, "On campus" due to not having any allowance left. I compliment him on that choice and mention how I have to sometimes put something back from my cart if I'm shopping and realize it's not a good choice. "When you're shopping for lunch, you can always take something out of your cart if you change your mind, right?" I ask him. He agrees and I leave it at that.

I speak to his counselor and let her monitor his food choices, knowing that she has a more disarming relationship with him. I think about the teenage brain, impulsivity, ADHD, and our students sometimes having to learn the hard way, by experience. His counselor revisits this theme with him about balance, as well as pausing to think about serving sizes during a meal and while shopping. I step out of this effort and focus on in-class work, but I can never forget this student any time I get a chocolate donut.

Have any of you experienced similar life lessons or seen it in your teenager? Please share your comments below!